I fell back on the downward slope again of questioning my position here and considering going home. But instead of letting myself completely crash again I decided to take a different approach. I have stayed away from the internet, read 5 books in 2 weeks, and made my way to Chisinau and Razeni (my first village). What I’ve learned (and sometimes relearned) from friends, family, and books:
Leaving Moldova would be like drinking alcohol to the point of blacking out. When you come back to your senses, the problems still exist. There’s no point in running. It’s best to clean up your act, get your head on straight, and then make new decisions.
Sometimes pretending to be happy really makes you happy because you realize you have no reason to be sad… and it’s fun to pretend…. and then you’re having fun before you know it.
When it’s time to make a decision about the next chapter in this thing we like to call “the Book of Life”, the answer will be obvious… as long as you don’t ignore the signs.
It may take a huge journey to discover what was there all along but it’s possible to have missed what was there all along if the journey wasn’t taken first. Plus, it’s pretty difficult to say “no” to traveling.
Reading rocks. Internet rocks. But reading is so much better than the internet.
“I suddenly had such a pang for home that I began to cry. It wasn’t St. Louis [insert: Kansas City] I longed for exactly, but some larger and more vague idea of home- known, loved people and things.” (The Paris Wife by Paula McLain)
“Wherever love is, there you will find your treasure. You’ve got to find the treasure first.” (The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo)
Focus on the present: not the past or the future. Doing those two things can only lead to more confusion that make you forget to stop and smell the roses (and there are tons here right now! Makes smelling them easy… except did you know that a lot of roses don’t actually smell?!)
Listen to the stories your family tells you. And if they don’t tell you stories, ask them to. You never know what you may find out if you just listen.
I didn’t have to be a good student in order to become a good teacher.
Saying “goodbye” sucks… but hopefully it’s really “see you later”. In most cases.
Apply. Apply. Apply. For. Everything.
And that’s all I have for now.