From Home to Nursing Home
I’m not exactly sure how we got here, and honestly, neither is she.
Everything happened SO fast, which has so many of us flashing back to 1998 when my mom (her sister) was diagnosed with cancer. However, unlike my mom, Moe was NOT afraid of going to the doctor, which is what is making this so difficult to understand.
Questioning that doesn’t do us any good because it doesn’t change the fact that what was, was, and where we are is here.
So, where is here?
On May 23rd, after a couple of visits to the ER for feeling “puny” and very weak, Moe was diagnosed with b-cell lymphoma. As she had ended up on the ground a few times and needed assistance getting up, it was recommended she go to rehab to strengthen her body for chemo. Then, on May 28th, after speaking with that nurse, I learned it isn’t just b-cell lymphoma. She has cancer everywhere.
We decided to speak with her on May 29th about hospice care, as her body is too weak and the cancer has progressed too much to be able to handle treatment.
She handled the conversation well and agreed to the evaluation by hospice and then said, “I just want to be treated like a princess!” We read off the list of where her cancer is:
Renal cell carcinoma (kidney cancer) and b-cell lymphoma.
Metastatic disease (liver, adrenal glands, abdomen, stomach, lung, everywhere).
At the end of the conversation we asked her what she thinks. “Well, it sounds like they still don’t know anything,” she said (When we just listed that they know everything). Things then took a turn and they brought hospice in for an immediate evaluation so she could start getting the benefits (because of course there’s a process) ASAP.
It was a WHIRLWIND of a day and we were able to get hospice care going and transfer her from rehab to an Assisted Living Plus wing of the building with hospice care.
She now has her own “apartment” and the kids and I went and got lots of PURPLE bedding and we even got her a purple crown to be a princess! This wing of the building is absolutely amazing. It’s quiet and peaceful. While she isn’t getting out of bed anymore, there are activities and there’s a sunroom and everyone is so kind.
Her cognitive function is quickly declining. It is hard to see her so confused, as just a few weeks ago she was attending my daughter’s birthday and was still as sharp as a nail.
She is also not fighting the fact (yet) that she doesn’t get to go home again.
At present, she has hospice care 2x a week and she is eating (ish… protein shakes). The nurses have told me when they pick up their visits to daily and/or she stops eating, the end is near.
I’m going to use this blog to keep everyone updated as it has become too much to give daily updates while also sharing the story of my experience as the Trustee and navigating the SUPER hard task of aging family members who just want to stay home…
If you know Martha, you know how private she is. She is VERY tired and sleeping most of the day. She hasn’t said no to visitors yet, but please be respectful to her energy and if you do visit, plan on just a few minutes. I also gave her a wand to wave people away if she’s had enough ;)
She’s in room 152 at the Villages at Mission (7105 Mission Rd).
She does not have her phone or computer, so all communication is through me (her niece).
Cate Crandell | 913-956-1987 | cate@catecrandell.com
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