Day 4: Grateful for 24/7

It‘s weird seeing my aunt in a room she always said she never wanted to be in… in a home that isn’t hers, and yet, I suppose it is now.

I’m grateful for the 24/7 care which is not something I can provide, nor could we sustain for long financially if she were back in her home… especially for instances like last night when she fell out of bed. She doesn’t remember it and says she isn’t in any pain, which I suppose is a good thing.

When I went to see her this morning she was alert and seemed fully present the whole time I was there. Even with the fall, it seemed like a good day!

Her hospice nurse had the same experience shortly after my morning visit. She’s mostly only drinking Ensure for food, and it had been a couple of meals since she’d eaten, but everything checked out fine. (WHEW!)

Then she called me this afternoon and said the nurse told her that her oxygen levels and blood sugar were really low and she was pretty pale, and her breathing was labored. An old lifetime family friend made it in for a visit today and provided the same answer. She wasn’t very coherent, and the friend wasn’t even sure she knew she was there. So, while at present she only needs hospice visits twice a week, they can come at ANY time for an evaluation if I, or the nursing staff, feels like she needs an evaluation.

… but when I walked in around dinner time she was sitting up and being fed (she’d eaten her whole dinner AND had some juice!) and she looked better than she has in quite a few days!

I told some stories about the kids being kids, she laughed, and eventually she started to get foggy again and said she was ready to go home. I dimmed the lights, suggested the take a nap, and I walked out for the night.

Hospice said her foggy thoughts, confusion, and hallucinations are likely from the cancer that could be in her brain and/or from the cancer on her kidneys, which has them not functioning properly. What I didn’t know about hospice, and I do now, is that they aren’t JUST for when someone is actively dying. That was my experience with my mom - they were called in her final days. This had me under the impression that is how it always is, but nope, not always! While we do not know how much longer my aunt has on this earth, at this very moment, she’s still here. And let me tell you - the team at MONARCH HOSPICE has been wonderful in helping her and also helping guide me through this process. Bonus: They wear t-shirts with purple monarchs, and if you know Moe, you know how much she loves that!

Once as stubborn and sharp as a nail, it’s hard to see her not being able to put her thoughts together.

And yet, here we are, taking it one minute at a time. Because right now, well, that’s the only thing we know we have.

Love,
Cate